Dune: Part Two Review - Villeneuve’s Overrated Sand Castle
Dune: Part Two Review - Villeneuve’s Overrated Sand Castle
Rating: ★★☆☆☆ (2.5/5)
Verdict: Denis Villeneuve’s “Dune: Part Two” spends two hours proving that sand is cinematic kryptonite, Timothee Chalamet can make brooding boring, and worms aren’t scary when they look like giant pool noodles.
If you thought “Dune: Part One” was slow, pretentious, and a little too in love with its own beige aesthetic, buckle up—or don’t, because “Dune: Part Two” doesn’t deserve your attention span. Denis Villeneuve’s latest sand-covered slog doubles down on everything wrong with the first installment, delivering a sci-fi spectacle so self-important, it might as well come with a monocle and a top hat.
The Plot: What Plot?
Let’s start with the storyline—or lack thereof. “Dune: Part Two” picks up where the first movie left off, which is to say, nowhere interesting. Paul Atreides (Timothee Chalamet) continues his journey to become the most boring messiah in cinematic history, while Zendaya’s Chani finally gets more screen time, only to spend it spouting lines so wooden they could double as IKEA furniture instructions.
Oh, and the political intrigue? It’s still there, but it’s about as compelling as watching paint dry on a desert wall. Villeneuve tries to convince us that the battle for Arrakis is Shakespearean, but it’s really just a bunch of overpaid actors whispering about spice while wearing drab outfits that look like rejected designs from a dystopian fashion show.
Timothee Chalamet: Brooding or Boring?
Let’s talk about Timothee Chalamet, Hollywood’s favorite sad boy. In “Dune: Part Two,” he graduates from looking mildly constipated to looking like he’s auditioning for a goth band that exclusively performs in sand dunes. His performance is so lifeless, you’d think he was method acting as a piece of driftwood.
Chalamet’s Paul Atreides is supposed to be a charismatic leader, but he’s about as inspiring as a motivational poster in an empty office. Every scene he’s in feels like a black hole of energy, sucking the life out of the movie faster than a sandworm devours spice.
The Sandworms: Not Scary, Just Stupid
Speaking of sandworms, can we address how ridiculous these creatures look? Villeneuve wants us to believe they’re terrifying, but they honestly resemble inflatable pool toys that escaped a backyard barbecue. When they’re not awkwardly slithering through the desert, they’re just there—existing—like overgrown props from a low-budget sci-fi show.
Villeneuve’s obsession with these worms is baffling. Why dedicate so much screen time to creatures that are neither intimidating nor interesting? At this point, I’m convinced the worms are just metaphorical stand-ins for how bloated this movie feels.
Cinematography: Beige Overkill
Denis Villeneuve’s visual style has always been “artsy,” but in “Dune: Part Two,” it’s downright suffocating. Every frame is drenched in sepia tones, as if the film was shot through Instagram’s Valencia filter and then dunked in a vat of oatmeal.
Yes, the desert is vast and empty, but Villeneuve’s insistence on making it look “epic” ends up making it look boring. How many shots of endless sand dunes do we really need? By the hundredth sweeping shot of beige nothingness, I was ready to claw my way out of the theater.
Dialogue: Pretentious and Painful
The dialogue in “Dune: Part Two” is a crime against screenwriting. Characters don’t talk like human beings—they deliver monologues that sound like they were written by a philosophy major who just discovered metaphors.
Every line is dripping with self-importance, as if the characters are auditioning for a “Deep Thoughts” segment on late-night TV. The result? Conversations that are unintentionally hilarious and painfully tedious.
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Inflatable Sandworm Prop
A hilarious nod to “Dune’s” not-so-terrifying creatures. Perfect for fans who enjoy terrible sci-fi designs.
Pros and Cons
Pros:
- Zendaya exists and is not entirely wasted.
- Hans Zimmer’s score is genuinely great (but wasted on this mess).
Cons:
- Timothee Chalamet’s charisma vacuum.
- Worms that are unintentionally comedic.
- Beige cinematography overload.
- Dialogue that feels like punishment.
- A runtime that makes you question your life choices.
Final Verdict
“Dune: Part Two” is a bloated, pretentious mess that trades storytelling for endless shots of sand. Denis Villeneuve’s sci-fi epic feels like it was made for people who enjoy suffering through slow, self-important movies that mistake monotony for artistry.
Rating: ★★☆☆☆ (2.5/5)
If you’re looking for a sci-fi film with actual entertainment value, skip “Dune: Part Two” and revisit
